Atlanta Blues.

Well, my plans to go to Knoxville on Thursday have (yet again) been canceled, because Jeremy is sick. He thinks it's strep, and I refuse to go anywhere near that. Ain't nobody got time for strep! I'm hoping to hear later today that he doesn't have strep, and that whatever he has isn't contagious so that Daniel and I can still venture up that way.

I am really struggling in Atlanta. I like my job, my living situation is great-ish, and nothing is ACTUALLY wrong, I'm just lonely. And stressed. And it's making me depressed. It's starting to manifest itself physically. I have no appetite, and even when I do, I feel nauseous every time I eat. I've basically stopped drinking, with only a rare exception, and it's been since then that this ickiness has come over my stomach.

I'm not sure what to do with myself, since all of my coworkers are men and it would be weird for me to ask them to hang out. I literally have no time to make friends with anyone else, nor do I have any idea how to. I've never not had school or Naples, and now I don't understand how adults make friends outside of their jobs. I just don't get it.

So I've got to figure some things out. I know I only have a few months here, but it's getting silly how sad I am. Turns out, I'm not as much of a loner as I thought I was, I need human interaction. Daniel is always great to have around, but when I have days off and he doesn't, I literally sit by myself until he calls me to come get him at 11:30 at night.

Most of my classmates have been telling me how jealous they are of all of my spare time, and all of the things they would do with it, but I don't think they understand how it's affected me. I get really depressed when I'm forced to be stagnant, and having more than one day off a week makes me remember how lonely I actually am in this city. I'm too far ahead on my externship manual to continue working on it, and there aren't many other things besides Lego Harry Potter that can keep me occupied. It's sad.

Anyway, I made soup today, and I'll share it with you to not end this entry on a sad note.

Broccoli Cheddar Soup:
6 T unsalted butter
1 small onion, diced
1/4 cup flour
2 cups lactose free 2% milk
3 cups chicken stock
2 bay leaves
Salt and pepper
Paprika
4 cups broccoli florets
1 large carrot, diced
3 cups shredded sharp cheddar cheese

Melt butter, cook onions in it until tender (about 5 minutes). Whisk in flour and cook roux until golden. Gradually whisk in milk. Then add stock, bay leaves, salt, pepper, and paprika (the latter 3 to taste). Cook about 20 minutes or until the mixture has thickened. Add vegetables and cook another 20 minutes until they are tender. Immersion blender the soup. Stir in the cheese and whisk until it melts. Serve hot.

It's a good soup, and I'm going to use it to trick my body into digesting food. I'm hoping that by consuming a primarily-liquid, calorie-rich food, that my body will be less angry when I eat. We'll see what happens.