New Direction.

Well, I've done it. I've finally found an externship site. I will be packing my bags and moving down to Atlanta, GA on January 20th. I will be working at Restaurant Eugene in Buckhead, and I will (hopefully) be living two buildings down with a friend of a friend.

While I definitely feel that my tumultuous journey has finally concluded, and that a large boulder of stress has been lifted from my shoulders, I will always remember these past few months as some of the worst (professionally) ever. I cannot believe how difficult it was for me to find a chef who would actually respond to my emails and be willing to work with me.

One day, I will be writing an article about this experience and hopefully shaming some of the restaurants that treated me poorly. Be nice to everyone, because you never know who you're going to meet. (Or whether or not they're willing to publish a document calling you out for your unprofessionalism.)

I'm sorry for how depressing my posts have been lately, I've just been having a rough time.

Anyway, we started IPP (Individual Pastry Production) on Monday, and I can already tell I'm in for an insane ride. We're producing so many things at such a fast pace, I can't wait to learn everything Chef Ballay has to teach me.

I'll post again soon!

Until then, here's a link to the restaurant I'll be externing at.
http://www.restauranteugene.com/

A Living Legend.

I have not been posting enough lately and I'm sorry. I've been a bit of an emotional wreck, and posting blog entries whilst depressed does not make for a read-worthy product. Always think of the readers.

Today's emotionally devastating event was this: it was our last day of Classical Cakes with Chef Schorner. There are so many things I could say about that man, but I am going to have to collect my thoughts and write a short essay that simply states how I have felt for these past three weeks. I know that's how he would prefer it.

Chef Schorner is a legend. When he tells you stories, they are filled with accounts of Queens, celebrities, Presidents, and other nobility who have eaten (and loved) his food. What's more impressive, however, is the people he remembers that aren't nobility. For example, how he remembers a woman who taught him to fold laundry correctly, which is now the reason he folds puff pastry so beautifully. He says, "I loved that woman. She said, 'you may be a big shot up there (in the restaurant), but down here, I want it this way.' And she was right!"

Chef Schorner is not a young man, in fact, he is 75. Usually by that time, a person has made his/her way in the world and has settled down in a warm location to live out the remainder of their days. Not Chef Schorner. He remains the most passionate person I have ever met, even about cakes and pastries that he has made 500 times. He'll be just as excited to talk to you about a new, Grant Achatz-inspired confection as he will be to talk about a Black Forest cake that he made for the first time when he was a child. He remains so passionate, that he is moving to Singapore in a few weeks to teach at the CIA's newest campus. He's 75, and he's moving to Singapore. I'm just going to let that sink in for a few moments.

Chef Schorner's defining characteristic, in my eyes, is his expressions. He might as well be a cartoon, with how much emotion he can display during one sentence. He goes from quietly describing the intricate processes behind modern sugar work to dancing around the room describing an evening that none of his students, regrettably, shared with him. He not only lives passionately in the present, he remembers things with such a ferocity that when he describes the hands of a pastry chef that he met one time in Spain, you can see the hands. You can visualize them so well that you want to reach out and touch them, just to try to believe how accurate the Chef's description of them is. He IS passion. His heart beats for the next time he will be inspired by a student, a chef, or just any person he meets on the street.

As I said, there are many, MANY things I could say about Chef Schorner, but I just want to leave you with this: I left his class today, and the whole class was crying. There was not a single person who walked out of Bake Shop 5 without their voice slightly cracking when they said their goodbye to Chef. Everyone is so thankful to have had him as their instructor, and even though we are all disappointed that he is leaving shortly, we will never forget the last three weeks we shared with him. If I ever feel down, I will remember all of the things that he said to us that made my eyes light up and how many times he reminded me of why I decided to pursue this career path. Chef Schorner will forever remain one of the most inspirational and inspired people I have ever met. I am a different, better person because of him.

Now, to conclude, I will post some pictures. I don't want to say too much, but I definitely believe pictures are worth a thousand words. Hopefully you'll understand what I mean.

Black Forest Cake

Inside of the Black Forest Cake.

Hazelnut Sponge with Hazelnut Buttercream and Florentine garnish.

Chef Shorner assembling the Croquem Bouche.

Croquem bouche!

Elvis snowman.

Groupie snowman.

Buche de Noel.

Buche de Noel.

Chocolate Soufflé that Chef made for us.

Look at that rise!

Pulled sugar bow on top of an oval cake.

Best pals :)

Finished Charlotte Rousse.

Modern Charlotte.

So shiny!

Chocolate sponge with a mocha buttercream.

Basic and Classical Cakes

For the past week, I have been in Basic and Classical Cakes class with Chef Dieter Schorner. Seriously, you guys should look him up. This man is a legend.

He's taught us all kinds of things, and I am kindof smitten with his extremely traditional methods. I never thought I would say that, but there's something to be said about a man who has so much pride in his roots that he feels no need to change their techniques. I am very fortunate to have him as a chef, because in a few weeks he is moving to Singapore to teach at the CIA's newest campus. He's 75 years old, by the way. He has no intentions of slowing down, regardless of how old he gets.

Other than this class, life is ridiculous. I'm still consistently very depressed because of the whole externship situation, and it's starting to affect my daily attitude about life. However, I sent out five new resumes today, and even though I have no hope that anyone will get back to me, I'm still putting myself out there.

There is some good news though, I got a new job! I started last night at a local Italian restaurant (this seems to be a theme in my life, btw) called Amici's. I've eaten there a few times before and have loved it every time. The last time I ate there, the server was discussing the poor quality of his coworkers, and I  jokingly told him that I would take their job. He laughed and then told me to send in my resume. A few days later I got a call: I was to start work on Sunday. So now I will be consistently working Sundays, and hopefully a few Saturdays. I'm excited to have a job I don't hate, that will give me a little bit of money to start paying off the interest on my student loans.

So now here's everyone's favorite part: the pictures of my food.

Pithivier- an almond cream-filled puff pastry cake. 

The whole cake.

Caramel Walnut Tart. DELICIOUS.

Sliced tart with a whipped cream quenelle.

Sliced pithivier with a whipped cream quenelle.

I didn't make this one, but it was beautiful! Macadamia nut, caramel, and ganache tart.

I didn't make this one either, but it's an apple frangipane tart.

Pâte a choux!

Piping homework with help from Chef Schorner,

Eclairs with a fondant glaze.

The darker one is a chocolate kahlua glaze.

Chef's perfect ladyfingers.

Genoise Sponge.

The best one I've done so far, but it's still not perfect.

Baby carrot garnishes for carrot cake.

Carrot cake!

Mmmmmm.....

My last piping homework.

Traditional Charlotte.

Such a pretty cake!

Self-realization.

I am not one of those people that good things happen to.

I have to make the good things happen, and I often have to sacrifice other good things to achieve, what I consider, ultimate happiness.

I believe that it will eventually make me a stronger person, but for now it really sucks.

I hate being discouraged, and it's an emotion I feel like I'm constantly fighting.

The hunt for an externship might actually be ruining my entire life.

The end.

New York City Conundrum.

For those of you who follow me on Facebook, you may have seen a status update that mentioned being dropped off in the ghetto of Brooklyn on Friday when I was supposed to be staging at Cafe Boulud.

This would only happen to me. And apparently a piece of mail that was supposed to go to my best friend's house in Manhattan.

So let's start with a back story. The last time I went to NYC with a few friends, one of them downloaded this app called Hop Stop. It's used for navigating the subways of the city. Before I even got on the train, I plugged the address of the restaurant (20 East 76th Street) into the app. It told me that I was going to be taking a lot of trains, but I had never been to this place so I had no clue what to expect. I just went along with what the app was telling me.

After a transfer from the 4 train to the L train, I thought I was on my way. I realized that I was going to be a few minutes late, however, because the app told me to get off at the Rockaways (the last stop) and then walk 20 blocks to the restaurant. That's alright, I thought, they'll understand.

As soon as I had trucked my knife roll, scarf, jacket, and large bag filled with the outfit I needed to work at the Cafe 20 blocks up the street, I realized I was in trouble. I was in the ghetto. Oh, and 20 East 76th Street in Brooklyn is a run-down used cell phone store. So I called Cafe Boulud and told them my situation. I apologized, and said that I hadn't really had to navigate NYC except for a few other times, so I was completely and hopelessly lost.

I was determined to make it. I google mapped the nearest train station and was not happy to see that it was located on Flatbush Avenue, which was 1.5 miles away. It was only then that I really started to get upset, because I realized that there was no way I would make it back to Manhattan before 4 PM. I had no other options, so I walked.

I made it to Flatbush and took the train back to Grand Central. When I got there I had 10 minutes until the next Metro North train left for Poughkeepsie, so I quickly phoned Cafe Boulud and told them that I was not going to be able to come in. After that, after not eating since breakfast, and not using the bathroom since around the same time period, I got on the train back to Hyde Park. I was miserably defeated.

However, after talking to my chef, I feel a little bit better. She swears that she has done things a lot worse than not showing up. So I emailed the woman who is in charge of setting up stages and explained what had happened. I'm still waiting to hear back from her, but hopefully I can reschedule my stage for an upcoming weekend.

The moral of the story? Do more research. And don't always trust technology, because it is stupid.

When one door closes...

My last post was a little negative. I do not apologize for it, instead I'm going to offer a glimmer of hope.

I am still extremely frustrated with the way a lot of chefs treat eager students, but it seems like I may have found at least a few people who are interested in sharing their knowledge.

I went to the career fair yesterday, and had an interview today with the Castle on the Hudson in Tarrytown, NY. I also have a stage/trail at Cafe Boulud in NYC on Friday. I'm excited to say that the Castle on the Hudson recruiter really liked me, said she could see my passion and leadership ability just from talking with me for half an hour. Unfortunately, the restaurant is going to be closed from January-March of next year, but she said if I can begin my externship in February instead of January I might have a place to work with the chef on menu development for the re-opening of Equus. Fortunately, that time also works for me, so I'm excited. I love menu development, it's turned out to be a lot of fun doing it for the past three weeks with Chef Walnock. I would love to help another chef out with the same process.

After my interview, I went to lunch, and then for coffee at Apple Pie. Professor Sessarego (the front-of-house manager of the Cafe) and I were having a casual conversation about my interview when he asked if I was interested in working at Maialino, a restaurant in the city. I told him, of course I would be, and he told me to send him my resume and a cover letter and he would forward them to his friends there. How lucky am I?

I would like to think that at least some of these developments are not related to luck, but to my passion and drive to succeed in any industry. I think the luck lies in the people I have met through this school, and who I have become friends with since I've been here. They all are so helpful and so motivating. They all want to see me succeed, and I feel the same way about each and every one of them.

So, I'm keeping my head up and chugging through this week. Only a few days until classes start back for me!

Also, here is a picture of mine and Daniel's RHPS costumes!

Enraging Externships.

This post will not be pleasant; you have been warned.

I am not sure where to start with this concept. Let's start by defining professionalism. In my opinion, a professional person is one who wants his business to succeed. A professional is prompt, polite, and most of all, does not go back on his word. A professional should treat people with respect, even if they are not his superiors. I don't care what industry you're involved in, the core of professionalism should remain the same.

That being said, the industry that I have chosen for my career path, that I have fallen head-over-heels in love with, is full of people who don't know a damn thing about having a professional mindset. I have been completely screwed over by my original externship site: the restaurant Craigie on Main in Cambridge, MA. They could have warned me in advance not to come out for my second stage when they realized they might not be able to afford an extern, but they didn't. They allowed me to come work an eleven hour shift FOR FREE without even a hint that there could be a problem with my externship offer.

I've moved on. I've realized that I now have hardly any time to find a new externship site, but I haven't let that get me down. I've applied to 30+ places all over the country. Guess how many I've heard back from?

ZERO.

That's ZERO responses. Not even rejection letters, just people being too damn lazy to even write me an email to let me know that they aren't interested/aren't accepting externs/already have an extern/went out of business/whatever the hell else their reasoning could be.

Needless to say, I'm discouraged. I am flat out disappointed in this industry. I am not a naive person, I understand that people are busy, that not everyone is nice and helpful and wonderful; but I had at least a sliver of hope that the restaurants listed on my SCHOOL'S WEBSITE would be a little bit more responsive than the ones that I sought out on my own. This is completely untrue. Chef Tom Gray from Bistro Aix in Jacksonville, FL has proved to be the only decent chef that I have contacted. He didn't even do much, he just called me to tell me he could not take me as an extern. BUT AT LEAST HE CALLED. We can't have spoken for more than five minutes, but those five minutes mean more now than I ever thought they would.

So here's a word to all of you chef/restaurant owners out there: you were me once. You were an eager student/cook/pastry chef/baker at one point in your life. You cannot treat people like this and expect anything good to come out of it. I will never forget being screwed over by Craigie, and I will never forget who finally does take a minute to send me an email to tell me they would be interested in at least having me to stage.

I'm good at what I do, and I'm extremely confident in my ability to succeed. I'm going to be someone someday, and I will never, NEVER ignore someone who is eager to learn. It's completely unprofessional and rude.

That Sinking Feeling

I've been sick for a few days, so I've made sure to not do much more than lay around and watch movies today. I'm trying to get better ASAP.

In the midst of laying on Daniel's couch, crocheting a scarf for my friend Andrew, and listening to Beach House, I remembered something: I haven't heard anything back from Craigie on Main.

As all of you might remember, I have gone twice now to stage at a restaurant in Cambridge, MA called Craigie on Main. I was offered the externship position there in August when I first went, but wanted to check out other places before I committed to one location. I then went back and was told that the only factor that could prove problematic was the budget the restaurant had for payroll. This was the first time I had heard any hint of doubt in Jess's voice, but I left feeling positive.

Then I received a phone call from the chef's personal assistant last Sunday.

He said that Jess is having a baby and will be leaving Craigie during my time there. They're looking for something more permanent than an extern. They need someone who will be able to stay and take over Jess's position. He asked me when I graduated, and sounded genuinely disappointed when I said it wasn't until February of 2014. He said he would let me know by today whether or not I will be externing at Craigie, but I have yet to hear anything. I just sent him an email and am awaiting a phone call. Honestly, at this point, I don't have much hope. I've started sending resumes to other restaurants and bakeries, but am exceptionally disappointed that this deal I had with Craigie most likely won't pan out. I feel like this kind of thing happens to me frequently, and honestly it really gets me down. It's hard to hold your head up and have a positive attitude about things when people/opportunities/life keeps dealing you a terrible hand.

Anyway, as promised, here are the pictures from our last family meal in Cafe Savory.

Mary made bread!

Mac n cheese, steak sandwich, bruschetta, gyro, carnitas, and fried potatoes.

Savory cheesecake. It was just as weird as it sounds.

Kushari. Mine!

Plating the last meal.

So onward I go, adrift in a sea of uncertainty. I'm trying to reign in all of my options and go with my best bet, but I really hope something good happens soon. I hate feeling disappointed.

Cafe Savory

I am nearing the end of my most recent class. For three solid weeks (I say solid because I have been in the class EVERY DAY ((except two Mondays)) for three weeks), I have been trapped in the k-19 dungeon of Cafe Savory.

Let me preface this rant with this; I was SO excited to take this class. I love to cook, and I actually almost considered going to school for the culinary side of things, but decided to do baking because I'm already good at it. Kindof a cop-out, I know. Anyway.

The first few days of class were SLOW. We had barely anything to do, and we spent most of our time watching the chef do demos of cool things like brining, smoking, breaking down turkeys...really just a lot of neat stuff. I learned quite a bit in those few days.

Then things took a turn for the worst. The people who have never worked in/around kitchens started to emerge. You can pick them out by the pace at which they walk, the way they speak to the chef, and the level of confidence they maintain throughout the class. However, not having worked in/around a kitchen is not a requirement for our program. You just need to know how to bake a little bit before you step through the front doors, and you are not required to have attained that knowledge in a restaurant kitchen. I said to myself: "This will be interesting to see who can adapt to working in a crowded kitchen setting as opposed to a nice, cool, clean bakery." It, in fact, was not interesting. It became a completely frustrating situation almost immediately. What was extremely disappointing, however, was not the people who had never worked in kitchens. It was EVERYONE. 

All of our attitudes started to sour. We began each day of class waiting in the hallway and dreading having to listen to our chef be his ADD self and bounce from topic to topic, losing all of us in his wake of profound knowledge. I want to remark that Chef Skibitcky is one of the smartest men I have ever met. He not only knows how to cook, but he knows how to bake, and he knows the history behind every dish we prepared. That is an impressive feat, considering the volume of food we produced in this short 3-week period. As a Chef who is required to teach students who do not share his seemingly infinite knowledge, however, he is not the greatest. He seemed forever frustrated with us that we could not keep up with his pace and answer every question that he threw our way. His expectations were exceedingly high for a group of bakers who were simply supposed to be learning the basics of the culinary side of the kitchen. 

All of us are bakers, which means we either all suffer from some form of OCD, or are, at the very least, perfectionists. The fact that none of us seemed to be able to set up a demo to his EXACT specifications, or that we could never seem to follow his instructions explicitly really started to wear on the whole class. We started working a little bit sloppier; the kitchen was at least 3x messier than it ever would have been in Chef Walnock's class. 

Then something even more unexpected happened: we all started being genuinely MEAN to each other. I'm not talking about kitchen banter that, to the outside world, seems like a conversation between mortal enemies. I'm talking about snide comments, under-the-breath insults, Facebook rants, and things said right to each other's faces that I think we will all regret later. Today is our last day of production, tomorrow is the day we take our final, and I'm left wondering who will emerge with friends. I've experienced my own personal relationships strained by this class, and I can see it in all of my classmates' faces that they have felt the same thing. 

On a lighter note, we did churn out some amazing food.

Brined, roasted turkey.

The class plating up our first family meal.

The first family meal was Thanksgiving themed! We made everything except that tart in the back.

I believe these were carrot cake muffins with a cream cheese frosting.

Caprese salad.

Cheese and poblano quesadillas.

Kara's matzo ball soup.

Fried pickles.

Vegan Creamsicle Shakes.

Gnocchi with our tomato sauce and cheese.

Pierogies, Ruebens, Spring Rolls, Fried Pretzels, Fried Shrimp...delicious!

I still have a few days' worth of photos on my camera that I need to upload. I will try to upload them by tomorrow for you all to see.

Until I post again, wish me luck! I'm finishing this class, and moving on to...nothing. I've tested out of design, so I've got three weeks off of school. The only thing I have planned is to help Chef Walnock with her menu for American Bounty (one of the restaurants on campus). I'll be spending Thursday and Friday afternoons with her playing guinea pig, muse, grunt worker, or whatever else she could possibly need. I'm trying to think of creative ways to entertain myself, but money is always a restriction. If any of you have ideas, please send them to me!